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Hello, my name is Shahadatul Syzwani. Call me Atowl. I love to eat a lot. Love to crying. Like travelling.
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Friendships.
Tuesday, 10 December 2013
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#imagine self-harming
I was a lonely girl, I was about to kill myself until he saved me. Who would have known that an angel would come and would rescue me...me, the girl who is always alone in scholl, the girl who is not talented, the girl with scars.
I started doing this to myself when I found that my ex boyfriend cheated on my with my ex bestfriend, that was two years ago, then I thought whats the point of living? And now I don't even have a reason to stop, because who cares about my scars? Nobody until my bestfriend, Niall saw me one night hurting myself; he was watching me from his window room, he looked so scared, I thought he would never speak to me again but what he did was the opposite, he came into my house and he put a towel around my arm he took me to bed and we lay down, he was so sweet with me, he whispered into my ears words that I never expected to hear from him 'I love you' after he told me that I started crying, he put his arms around me and he rocked me "why you didn't tell me anything?'' he asks, "do you have any idea or what it feels like to never be good enough? how would be to look in the mirror and not what to hurt yourself and not hate every part of your body", I was lost watching the rain falling down, Niall took my hand and he put it in his heart, I looked at him really surprised of it and next I heard was all I needed to become into another person "I used to cut myself when I was fourteen until mu crush saw me and she told me stuff doesn't get easier just because you cut yourself" "I know your fighting against the voices in your headbut don't forget that I am here, please don't loose yourself, mext to you is someone that wants to spent his life with you".
p/s: copypaste
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Friendships.
Tuesday, 10 December 2013
0 notes
#imagine self-harming
I was a lonely girl, I was about to kill myself until he saved me. Who would have known that an angel would come and would rescue me...me, the girl who is always alone in scholl, the girl who is not talented, the girl with scars.
I started doing this to myself when I found that my ex boyfriend cheated on my with my ex bestfriend, that was two years ago, then I thought whats the point of living? And now I don't even have a reason to stop, because who cares about my scars? Nobody until my bestfriend, Niall saw me one night hurting myself; he was watching me from his window room, he looked so scared, I thought he would never speak to me again but what he did was the opposite, he came into my house and he put a towel around my arm he took me to bed and we lay down, he was so sweet with me, he whispered into my ears words that I never expected to hear from him 'I love you' after he told me that I started crying, he put his arms around me and he rocked me "why you didn't tell me anything?'' he asks, "do you have any idea or what it feels like to never be good enough? how would be to look in the mirror and not what to hurt yourself and not hate every part of your body", I was lost watching the rain falling down, Niall took my hand and he put it in his heart, I looked at him really surprised of it and next I heard was all I needed to become into another person "I used to cut myself when I was fourteen until mu crush saw me and she told me stuff doesn't get easier just because you cut yourself" "I know your fighting against the voices in your headbut don't forget that I am here, please don't loose yourself, mext to you is someone that wants to spent his life with you".
p/s: copypaste
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About The Author
BASIC INFORMATION
Hello people.
Nama saya Shahadatul Syzwani Binti Salim. Kawan-kawan sekolah selalu panggil Atowl je. Saudara-mara selalu panggil Wani. Korang nak panggil apa pun takpe. Tak kisah, asalkan panggilan yang baik lagi cantik like Princess, Manja, Sayang or what takpe lah. Hahaha, perasan je. Saya mula melihat dunia pada 11/02/1997 dan dilahir di Hospital Jitra, Kedah. *Ceq oqang Kedah cik kak, cik abg oi* Hahaha. Tapi, sekarang sudah menetap tetap di Batu Maung, Penang. Saya menuntut ilmu di Sekolah Menengah Batu Maung. Sekarang saya berusia 16 tahun. Next year, 17 tahun. Kena ambil Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM). You scaring me, you know? Hahaha, saya pelajar aliran akaun dan perdagangan. *Berdagang sakan*. Hobi saya waktu lapang ialah mendengar muzik, twitting, blogging, texting, menonton televisyen dan shopping. My ambition is I like to be Accountant, kalau lebih spesifik lagi Pegawai Bank.
Saya anak pertama daripada lima beradik actually tapi, seorang telah kembali ke rahmatullah semasa lahir. Allah lebih sayangkan dia. Saya bersyukur kerana di kurniakan seorang ibu yang penyayang lagi pandai memasak dan seorang ayah yang bertanggungjawab dan bersungguh-sungguh mencari nafkah untuk keluarga. Ibubapa saya bukan orang berada mahupun bekerjaya. Orang biasa-biasa saja.
Saya telah mempunyai seorang kekasih hati yang jujur lagi setia. Walaupun dia tak sekacak 'King', tak sehebat 'Aaron Aziz', tak pandai memujuk tapi dia cukup sempurna di mata saya. Kami telah membina perhubungan ini selama 1 tahun lebih. Bermula 11/05/2012. Waktu itu kami kelas sama. Dari itu, saya mengambil kesempatan untuk mengorat dia, bukan dia mengorat saya. Dah macam perigi mencari timba kan? Tak kisah, asalkan saya bersyukur dapat dia. Sebab dia tak macam lelaki yang aku pernah kenal dulu. Harap hubungan kami sampai ke jinjang pelamin. Amin~
Benda yang paling saya tak suka di dunia ialah ular, katak or binatang lain yang bersisik dan badan lembik. Eiiuww~ Hahaha. Gediknya. Saya tak suka copycats, haters, hackers, backstabbers, k-poppers, orang yang tak respect saya, orang yang tak respect orang tua or ibubapa diorang, orang yang suka tiru gaya saya, orang yang suka berbohong, orang yang tak mengaku kesalahan diri sendiri, orang yang ajet-ajet hotssss. What the fish! -..-
Benda yang saya paling suka dalam dunia ialah suara minion comel tu. Daripada saya sedih, boleh ketawa bila dengar minion gelak. Hahaha, comelnye. Saya suka masakan mak saya (best dishes ever in the world), rilakkuma bear, orang yang baik, orang yang pandai ambil hati, orang yang memahami, travelling, snookerling, hiking, jungle trekking and anyelse. Banyak sangat lah. Hahaha.
Kbye :)
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